Jokes

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My Next Life

I want to live my next life backwards:

You start out dead and get that out of the way.

Then you wake up in a nursing home feeling better every day.

Then you get kicked out for being too healthy.

Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension.

Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.

You work 40 years until you’re too young to work.

You get ready for High School: drink alcohol, party, and you’re
generally promiscuous.

Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, and you
have no responsibilities.

Then you become a baby, and then…

You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in
spa-like conditions – central heating, room service on tap, and
then…You finish off as an orgasm.

I rest my case.

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HAPPY EASTER!

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Let’s…

…shall we?

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Who’s still the man’s best friend?

A dog is truly a man’s best friend. If you don’t believe it, just try this experiment. Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour.When you open the trunk, which one is really happy to see you?

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Are they drunk or stupid?

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WIFE 1.0

Last year, I upgraded my GirlFriend 5.0 to GirlFriend 5.1, which installs itself as “Fiancée 1.0″. Recently, I upgraded Fiancée 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and it’s a real memory hog. It has taken up all my space and Wife 1.0 must be running before I can do ANYTHING.It is also spawning Child Processes which are further consuming system resources. Some applications, such as PokerNight 10.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all.Additional plug-ins was automatically installed, such as Mother-In-Law 55.8, and there is no uninstalling feature for this plug-ins. No mention of these behaviors was discussed in the brochures or documentation, although other users have reported similar problems.Because of this, some users that I know have decided to avoid the headaches associated with these upgrades, and simply move from Girlfriend 5.0 to Girlfriend 6.0. Unfortunately, this is not without peril as well, as all traces of Girlfriend 5.0 must be removed from the system before attempting installation of 6.0.

Even then, Girlfriend 6.0 will repeatedly run system checks (usually in the background, and often late at night when the system is asleep) to find evidence of previous versions. To cap it off, Girlfriend 6.0 apparently has a nag feature reminding about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0.

However, I do like some of the features that you are planning to include in the upcoming

Girlfriend 6.1 release:

• A “Don’t remind me again” button
• Minimize button
• Shutdown feature
• An install shield feature so that Girlfriend can be completely uninstalled if necessary (so you don’t lose cache and other objects)

Unfortunately, since I’ve already upgraded to Wife 1.0, I don’t think I will be able to take advantage of any of these new features, unless you decide to include them in the next Mistress release. But, of course, there is a whole raft of problems associated with the use of Mistress 3.2 and Wife 1.0 on the same system – most notably are system conflicts and continual disk thrashing, which starts shortly after Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 3.2. Interestingly enough, all versions of PersonalLawyer still work fine. Finally, Wife 1.0 apparently deletes all MSMoney files before uninstalling itself; following that, Mistress 4.0 will refuse to install, claiming insufficient resources.

I personally find all these new tools and conflicts to be too confusing and time consuming. I’m sticking with Dog 1.0b3. It slobbers and chews up the paper, but all in all these bugs are tolerable. It is simple to operate and we get along fine.

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Copyright © 2008, enguyen. All rights reserved.